Archives: 2006 September

where u at

September 29th, 2006

It’s generally a good idea to keep a camera close at hand while driving so when you see a car with a misspelled decal you can lean out the window screaming LEARN TO SPELL BEE-YOTCH while snapping their picture.

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in a place

September 29th, 2006

A couple months ago I salvaged a bunch of these old film reels from the Annie May Swift basement and turned them into basically the only bit of decoration in my room.

There are actually five of them nailed up there, but I couldn’t get them all in frame. The middle one has a label taped to it.

When I put it up I liked it because it said, “in a lonely place,” but yesterday I looked up and saw, “in a lovely place.” I guess if your friends are dirty clothes and empty pop cans, my room has gotten much lovelier but ANYWAY I thought it was funny in a bad Family Channel movie resolution psychoanalysis kind of way.

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I got in a fight with RenÃ© Descartes

September 25th, 2006

I was just hanging out at the bar wearing my FUCK DUALSIM shirt and he and his entourage were there getting kind of rowdy, and they kept giving me these looks all night. Later when I passed them on my way to the can I felt a spitball hit me in the back of the head and heard their muffled laughter, so I turned around real slow and said, “Is there a problem here, gentlemen?” and they were like no so I was like, “Whatever, the scientific method is the only way to obtain knowledge about the world anyway…” Well, Descartes’ face went beat red, and he started sputtering and taking off his weird little French gloves he always wears, so I just punched him in the face then made a sweet pun about metaphysics and how his face met-a-fist. I forget the exact wording but it was a pretty sweet pun and everybody cheered, then I ran to the bathroom because I still really had to go.

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Thank you for this punk rock.

September 24th, 2006

The Adventures in Modern Music festival, put on by The Wire magazine and the Empty Bottle, has been going on for four years now down at the Bottle, bringing together experimental sounds from around the world for five pretty diverse nights. I caught night four of five a few hours ago, with OM, Subtle, the Punks, and the Paul Flaherty / Frank Rosaly Duo. Apparently they believe in punctuality, because I got there only a few minutes after nine and the Flaherty / Rosaly Duo had already begun. They were really rad, Flaherty’s got this fearsome beard and Rosaly gets really sweaty and into it. Jazz loses something in recording or awkward written description, but it was a great set.

The second band was the Punks, the band that got me excited enough to decide to write this, excited enough to buy their record immediately even though I knew I’d have to carry it the rest of the night, excited enough to get totally ahead of myself. Ahem. The Punks (myspace) are like a deconstructivist ‘noise jam band’ type group: they play their instruments poorly, make a lot of feedback, and use words like ‘crunk’ ironically. I’ve heard their first record a couple times, but they really blew me away tonight. There were a couple people beating toms, providing an underlying beat for the whole thing, while the vocals, guitar, and ipod were twisted and broken by an array of pedals, everything squealing through their practice amps. Like I said, I picked up a test pressing of their upcoming record, which I will enjoy as soon as my ears stop ringing.

PS I don’t know what deconstructivism is or if I used the term appropriately but whatever.

Next up was Subtle, a beat-based group with reeds, guitar, and electric cello, with Ruby Rod out front emceeing, and they had costumes and props, too. Apart from the vocals, the music wasn’t that bad, “lush beats” or whatever aren’t really my thing but they had some good basslines, but the crowd of obnoxious white pothead retards dancing off-beat pushed Subtle from ‘kind of annoying’ to ‘really annoying.’ The best part of their set was Frank Rosaly was standing next to me making fun of the guy on the MPC.

Between sets, someone kicked a cup of water on my back, which was a drag, but OM totally punished, making me forget my wet butt and pretty much everything else. There were an absurd amount of bass amps on stage, and the sound was so loud it basically made all your internal organs headbang in unison. It was seriously the loudest thing I’ve heard in a long time, and I think my skull will be reverberating with those riffs for a while.

That’s all for this edition of hard-hitting music journalism. Later!

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I replaced my car’s headlights with strobe lights

September 23rd, 2006

holy shit this rules

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How to Cut Your Own Hair

September 22nd, 2006
For most people, getting a haircut involves paying another person to do it for them - in short, literally throwing money down the toilet. Besides, who want to talk to hairdressers? No one, that’s who, that’s why they’re hairdressers in the first place. So what’s the alternative, just letting your hair grow out forever? A tempting solution, but at some point you’re going to start looking like a girl. So what, then, is the answer to this follicle quandry?

I am here welcome you to the exciting world of Cutting Your Own Hair. That’s right, friends, whether you’re unemployed, agoraphobic, or just curious, cutting your own hair may be the answer you’re looking for. You don’t have to have any expensive training or professional equipment like “mirrors,” all it takes is enthusiasm! Of course, a little liquid courage beforehand couldn’t hurt either, providing you with the inhibition, confidence, and vitamins you’ll need to cut your way to success. At first it might seem difficult, but after a few apprehensive snips, you’ll get the hang of it. You’ll wonder why you ever paid anyone to cut your hair, dropping your guard until you make one grevious error and have to spend the next few hours frantically trying to salvage things to the point where you can reenter society. It’s an exhilarating experience!

This has been a minor introuction to Cutting Your Own Hair. I tried not to bog it down with a lot of messy details or useful information, because haircutting is like skydiving: you don’t ask questions about it, you just do it.

Some tips to keep in mind:
- Start with a “Guide Hair” - cut one hair to the correct length at the beginning, then just cut the other hairs in relation to the Guide Hair. This will save you the trouble of evaluating each hair on its own.
- Be Spontaneous - don’t plan ahead or put a lot of thought into things. One night while brushing your teeth, just say to yourself, “you know what, I’m gonna cut my hair,” then get busy. Better still, you could start out trying to trim your hair, then helplessly watch yourself lose control evening out and covering up and smoothing over, each cut more disastrous than the one previous, until you finally just drop the scissors in defeat.
- Be Bold - don’t be afraid to go where no scalp has gone before. After all, if Einstein had stuck to inventing things that had been already invented, we’d probably still be at war with Japan.
- Be Accepting - know when to say, “good enough.”
- Don’t Worry - you can’t see the back of your head, so who cares what it looks like?
- Quit Your Job - fuck the world.
- Remember - hair grows back; if you screw up irrevocably, you can just shave it all off!
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I scanned some more comics

September 18th, 2006

some of that depressed guy and some others, check it

awwwww yeah

stopmakingsteve Posted incomics and books, saying swears | 1 Comment »
can you believe someone threw this away?

September 17th, 2006

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who you suckas think you trippin with

September 16th, 2006

I’m in Panera and this kid who’s like fourteen just walked in with a shirt that says BONG, it’s like a CBGBs shirt except instead of CBGB it says BONG.

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qu’est que c’est?

September 16th, 2006

you start a conversation you can’t even finish
you’re talking a lot, but you’re not saying anything
when I have nothing to say, my lips are sealed
say something once, why say it again?

Do you ever find lyrics that perfectly express the way you feel in a way you could never elucidate, then realize they’re from a song called “Psycho Killer” and wonder what that says about you as a person?

Good news, though, I got this guy to hook me up with some sweet pills that are going to give me hella emotions, so I should be pretty much fully human pretty soon. They’re already making my skull swell with brilliant ideas.

Anyway, here’s a mixtape with an obnoxious “Psycho Killer” remix, but most everything else is golden: a great “Bossy” remix, a great Phoenix remix, and a heart-breakingly tender “Hustlin” / Pipettes mashup. Radiozero is Paul Devro and Tyler Fedchuk, I think, they have a blog with more cool mixes.

And Oh! there is more exciting news, Mike and I liberated the airplay show, so I have to go host that in a while.

Saturdays, 4-7pm on WNUR 89.3fm

stopmakingsteve Posted inmusic, radio | 2 Comments »