Archives: 2006 October

tv would be better if there were no sound except me shouting at the tv

October 31st, 2006

that’s how I watch tv

stopmakingsteve Posted insaying swears | No Comments »
in the clown ghetto

October 27th, 2006

clowns offering to shine your giant shoes

homeless clowns holding out cups but when you try to put coins in spring snakes pop out

when you get hit with a pie the homeless clowns all try to collect the pieces of crust, giant makeup frowns all dirty and flaking off, wearing three pairs of filthy oversized pants

homeless clowns spraying your windshield with seltzer

cardboard signs reading VIETNAM VET WILL JOKE FOR FOOD NOT A DRUNK CLOWN

junkie clowns in a burned out apartment building licking giant lollies all day

clown hookers with enormous stilletos and ratty rainbow wigs

guys in blackface getting hassled by the clown police

gutter full of red noses

stopmakingsteve Posted insaying swears | No Comments »
isn’t it ironic

October 26th, 2006

I only say, “how ironic,” ironically after something happens that’s not ironic, except I don’t really since you’d expect me to so not saying it is even more ironic. That’s how ironic I am.

stopmakingsteve Posted insaying swears | No Comments »
everyone loves pictures of cats

October 24th, 2006

I used to live near these cats but now I live near these cats:

plus a BoNuS photo of Charlie in his special modified double-wide shoebox

ps I typed up a complete guide to making contacts mics, check it out

stopmakingsteve Posted inpictures of animals, saying swears | 1 Comment »
just a reminder

October 20th, 2006
that Billy Joel crashed his car into a woman’s house

Singer-songwriter Billy Joel was slightly injured and mostly embarrassed when he lost control of his vintage car on a rain-slicked road and banged into a house, the Grammy Award-winning artist’s third car accident in two years.

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2004/04/26/entertainment/main613694.shtml

Indeed, ‘Piano Man’ is ‘Smashup Man’ again.

Thank you for joining me in remembering that Billy Joel crashed his car into a house.

ps: ALTERNATE CONTENT for “I just drank like five diet cokes”
- I can see through time
peace
stopmakingsteve Posted inmusic, pictures of animals, saying swears | No Comments »
I just drank like five diet cokes

October 20th, 2006

the mormon god’s gonna be pissed but I’m too buzzed to care woooo

stopmakingsteve Posted insaying swears | 2 Comments »
Blood Waterfall

October 16th, 2006

myspace.com/bloodwaterfall

(by the way that awesome ghost thing is from here)

stopmakingsteve Posted inmusic | 2 Comments »
sitting regarding a bowl of soup

October 16th, 2006

I like soup. Well, I guess not ’soup’ as like a categorical thing, but I enjoy some soups. Not really the creamy kinds. Or the ones with lots of potatoes. Chowder, that’s a kind of soup I don’t like. The point is, the soups I do like, I like them. This bowl of soup looks pretty enjoyable.

I’m the kind of guy that can just sit and enjoy a bowl of soup. Simple pleasures. Focused experience. Soup. Just sitting and enjoying it. Other people are distracted, not paying attention, doing several things at once, not even noticing the meal they’re eating. Not me, though. My mind is centered here and here alone. Totally in the moment. The bowl of soup. Me. Enjoyment. That’s all there is.

Of course, I guess I’m not just sitting and enjoying the soup. By noticing I’m just sitting and enjoying, I’m doing more than just sitting and enjoying. Not that that’s a bad thing. I like that I’m conscious of my thoughts to the point where I can notice them, and reflect upon them, and judge them. I think that’s a good thing. You don’t want to get lost in a bowl of soup, turn off your brain, just sitting there like an idiot with your bowl of soup, idiotic little half-smile on your face. The more thoughts the better, I think, think about thinking, think about thinking about thinking. This kind of self-acuity helps, you have to notice your thoughts, consider them, judge them, knock out the bad ones, fine-tune the machine.

Where do you stop, though? I am eating soup becomes I am enjoying soup becomes I like that I’m enjoying soup becomes I’m glad I like that I’m enjoying soup etcetera etcetera, infinite loop, infinite recursive loop, thoughts about thoughts about thoughts, then you’re trapped in your own mind, spiraling ever inwards, shrinking to a point, the point of non-existence. Time gets chopped into smaller and smaller pieces, a Zeno’s paradox kinda thing, except we know about calculus now, and you know what that means. It does stop. Infinity adds up to death, I guess, or maybe just turning into a vegetable. Non-existence, anyway.

What the hell am I talking about? I guess that vegetable stuff isn’t too likely. The old bean’s much too sturdy for that. This kind of recursive meta-thinking stuff only goes so far, then you uh get distracted, I guess. Lose your train of thought, anyway, like a built-in buffer overflow. Your brain just kicks you back to your bowl of soup.

That’s a pretty good phrase. ‘Kicks you back to your bowl of soup.’ I like that. I don’t know how it’d apply, like in a story there’d have to be some kind of like metaphorical thing where the narrator’s eating soup then later tells himself to just sit and enjoy his soup. Wait, I mean he gets kicked back to his soup, that’s the phrase I liked. Whatever. I’m not a writer anyway, and anyway real life doesn’t work like that, people don’t have cute, catchy little phrases they tell themselves. At least, I don’t think they do. I kind of do, I think, my inner narrator is kind of annyoing like that, a mugging for the camera kind of guy. Or is that me? I mean, am I thinking that, or am I just thinking that because I’m thinking that?

Dammit, this soup is cold.

stopmakingsteve Posted insaying swears | 1 Comment »
three two one contact

October 11th, 2006

Today I built a contact microphone.

What’s a contact mic? It uses a little thing called a piezo transducer that (somehow) turns physical pressure into an electrical signal. So if you plug one into a speaker, a device that converts electricity into sound (somehow), then whatever’s shaking your lil mic friend will be broadcast out into the world as sound. It’s different than a condenser mic, which uses a fragile diaphragm to pick up vibes in the air, or an electric guitar’s pickup, so it makes a different kind of crazy noise.

The short answer is: take this little metal circle thing, hook its wires up to sound cable, and plug it into your amplifier. Whee, you’re a musician!

Stick it on an acoustic guitar with some blue goo, and you can play through an amp and get lots of cool feedback. Hold it up to your throat, add a little distortion, and you’ll wail like a badass banshee. Put it on anything at all, the possibilities are endless!

how to make one

The whole process was cheap and easy - for ten bucks you can get two piezo transducers and a sound cable, and there were about five minutes of labor involved. I soldered the wires (another ten bucks for an iron and solder), but you could just tape them if you want, and if you buy premade quarter inch sound cord you’ve cut out half the steps already. There’s basically no reason you’re not making a ton of racket yourself, just like your favorite rock stars!

stopmakingsteve Posted indiy, music, saying swears | No Comments »
and that’s the tooth

October 10th, 2006

This is Big Smile Dental, right across from Elastic on Milwaukee. You wouldn’t know that, though, because instead of having a sign with their name on it, they have this.

As far as big, awesome signs go, their marquee is up there with DMX and the classic Hapkido sign at Western and Diversey.

stopmakingsteve Posted insigns n such | No Comments »